My, My, Miss American Pie
by Violentpixie
Summary: The boys make a pact, to lose their virginities by Prom. But Kyle doesn't seem into the whole idea even though Bebe's up for it. Stan's wooing Wendy but she's distant and why does he feel betrayed by his scrawny best friend? KyleBebe StanKyle CartmanWendy


**Just some random crap because ive finally fionished watching EVERY SINGLE episode of south park ever! oh yeeah. I also just watched the film American Pie a coupla days ago so inspiration hit.**

**This is mostly het pairing...mostly but with multiple other including canon and non-canon. If people like my stuff, i may have to start a Style fic. -squeel- It'd be my first attempt at a yaoi/same-sex pairing if i do. Im looking foreward to it.**

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**Preface**

"Well this sucks ass." Kyle said, finally breaking the silence between the four boys.

"Totally weak!" Cartman injected.

They were at Craig's seventeenth (granted, the boys hadn't been invited but neither had most of the people there) and, all around them, people were vomiting, shagging and drinking. The only ones missing out on the celebrations were Stan, Kenny, Kyle and Cartman.

"Dude, this is unfair." Stan said. "Why the hell arn't we getting any action? Where's Wendy, by the way. I lost her half an hour ago."

"Man, she went off." Kenny spoke, voice muffled by his beloved parka.

"What?" Stan choked, halfway through chugging down some beer.

"Relax! There she is, in the corner with Patty Nelson." Cartman drawled.

Stan grumbled under his breath but was ignored by those around the coffee table. "Hey, guys?" Kenny spoke, his eyes lighting up. "I think I know why we're the only ones missing out here."

"What?"

"Check out everyone else. I couldn't go to the bathroom because two guys were touching up each others junk."

"Ew, fags!" Cartman pretended to retch."

"Shut it, fatass." Kyle snorted. "After the homosexuals now?"

"Im not fat, jew boy!"

"Guys, knock it off." Stan said. "Anyway, Ken?"

Kenny grinned. "What we need to do is actually get laid!"

There was some kind of silence around the table, a bubble around the boys that was still, and, around the bubble, chaos ensued. It only burst when Kyle spoke. "Kenny, that's kinda stupid. What's that got to do with anything?"

Stan grinned. "Everything! Guys, Ken's right. Everyone else is so much happier and better off. I mean, I'm seventeen now and if i don't get some now, I'll die a virgin, I'm sure. I'll be the sober guy in the corner for the rest of my life."

Cartman grinned. "Seriouslah? You havn't allready lost your v-chip by ramming it up jew boy every night?"

"Goddamnit Cartman!" Kyle yelled, raising a fist. "I swear-"

"That what? You'll hit me with your all mightly jew powers?"

"Argh!" Kyle made an attempt to practiucally rip Cartman's head off but Stan and Kenny got in between the two seething boys.

"Chill, dudes!" Kenny cried.

Kyle tried to hit as much of the fattest of their group as he could from underneith Stan's restraining arms.

The scuffle ended a while later, with Cartman clutching his jaw in pain and Kenny getting an ice pack for Kyle's eye. "I hate you gais, seriouslah."

"Shut up." Kenny rolled his eyes. "You two have been going at it since kindergarten."

"Hey, I have an idea." Stan grinned, still holding Kyle's icepack for him whilst Kyle's one uncovered green eye glared at Eric Cartman and the fat kid glared back.

"About how to restrain these two?" Kenny asked.

Stan shook his head. "I mean, about us finally getting laid. We have to make a pact!"

"What do you mean?" Kyle's gaze lifted off his enemy's and looked warily at his best friend.

"A pact that we all have to lose our virginities by Prom. It's perfect. We can all go to collage as men and not just naive kids!"

"Sounds good."

"I'm in."

Stan looked at Kyle. "What about you?"

Kyle hesitated. "It's not really fair is it? Just...sleeping with a person to lose your virginity and not because it feels special? It doesn't seem right dude..."

The other three exchanged glances. "Jesus Kahl. Wake up with a vagina this morning or what?" Cartman said finally.

"Hey!" Kyle growled.

"No, I'm gonna have to agree with Cartman on this one." Kenny spoke. "Grow a pair dude. This might be your final chance to get some pussy."

"Stan?" Kyle looked at the raven haired boy who shrugged.

"I get what you mean Kyle, I truely do. But..."

"Oh fuck it." Kyle sighed, his brow furrowed. "Im in too."


End file.
